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Self Sabotage

The Science of Self-Sabotage: How to Overcome the Hidden Forces Holding You Back

February 19, 20252 min read

Do you ever feel like you’re climbing an endless hill, trying to make meaningful changes in your life, only to slide back down before you reach the top? Maybe you start a daily workout routine with determination, staying consistent for a few days or weeks, but then old patterns creep in, and suddenly, it’s back to sporadic effort.

If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so hard to stick to plans that could transform your life for the better, let me assure you—you’re not alone. And it’s not because you lack willpower or discipline.

You and I are up against an invisible but powerful opponent: our subconscious mind.

Your conscious mind is the dreamer, the visionary part of you that sets goals and plans for your dream life. It sees the limitless possibilities ahead and wants to take action to make them happen.

But your subconscious mind? It’s the guardian of the status quo. It resists change because change feels uncertain and risky. Its primary goal is to keep you safe—even if that means keeping you stuck in familiar patterns that no longer serve you.

From childhood through young adulthood, we develop what’s known as a set point in different areas of our lives. This set point represents what feels “normal” to us—our default level of comfort or our life thermostat.

We have set points for our:

  • Weight

  • Happiness

  • Life satisfaction

  • Finances

Your subconscious works tirelessly to maintain those set points because anything outside of them feels threatening. That’s why, even with the best intentions, we often fall back into old habits. It’s a self-protective loop that can feel impossible to break.

Here’s the game-changer: your set point isn’t permanent.

With intentional, consistent action, you can teach your subconscious mind to embrace a new normal. Think of it as your conscious mind earning the trust of your subconscious.

When you honor your commitments and follow through on your goals—even in small ways—you send a powerful message to your subconscious: “We’re safe. We’ve got this.”

Over time, your subconscious stops resisting. It begins to trust the process, allowing your set point to rise. Suddenly, what once felt impossible becomes your new standard.

What if you could achieve anything you set your mind to? What if your dream life became your reality—your dream career, dream home, dream partner, and a life filled with abundance?

The only thing standing between you and that vision is you.

The secret is simple: small, daily action.

Every small step you take in the direction of your dreams builds momentum. The more you achieve, the more your confidence and capacity to achieve grow.

Self Sabotage Self DevelopmentResilienceInner Power
blog author image

Sherita Gaskins-Tillett

Sherita Gaskins-Tillett, board-certified Ob/Gyn, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, wellness enthusiast, event planner. I am on a mission to help women, ALL WOMEN, own their power to create lives that they absolutely LOVE! I want to see women thriving and living intentional lives of purpose, abundance and massive impact.

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